*Pictured is the group that participated in this discussion outside in the courtyard.*
This event was a discussion about love languages on October 17th with TAs Allyson O'Grady and Ella Guikema. I chose this activity because love languages are something that really intrigues me. Love languages are extremely important and often looked over. I wanted to attend this activity in order to learn how to better help others and make them feel more seen. I want to be able to show my love to those close to me but we all have unique ways of receiving and interpreting love. Understanding how to cater to others’ love languages and my own allows me to connect with other people better. This can even mean in diverse communities in any way they differ from me. I knew I was going to love this activity as soon as I signed up for it. I love learning about different ways to communicate and make others feel loved. Before we arrived, we had to take a quiz to rank how we receive love. My top one was quality time. Quality time is extremely important to me and I was not at all surprised that this was my top one. I can sit with my friends or significant other in complete silence and still feel loved. The fact that they are there with me means the world. We could be watching a show or eating food but as long as we are in the same room together, I am happy. My next top love way of receiving love was words of affirmation. This was also not surprising. Because of my anxiety, and increased relationship anxiety, I need constant reassurance that I am loved and not forgotten about. I tend to overthink a lot even when it’s completely unnecessary. I need someone to remind me they love and care about me in order for me to believe it and that really takes a toll on me when I don’t get those reminders. I struggle with this because I sometimes end up feeling like a burden, however, it does not ruin any of my relationships-surprisingly and thankfully. My last one was receiving gifts. I enjoy receiving gifts but they don’t really show that I’m loved by that person because words and spending time together mean a significant amount more to me. We had a group discussion about our results and how they affect our relationships with other and also how we have different love languages depending on the other person involved. We also discussed our differences in receiving love and it was very eye-opening to understand the meaning behind how others see different love languages. For example, I can sit with someone in silence and just be happy to be with them. But for others, watching a show together doesn’t mean anything and they’d rather not. Another love language that was interesting to hear about the thoughts behind was words of affirmation. For me, words of affirmation are extremely important. However, others believe that words mean nothing and that isn’t a way they feel loved. The point some people brought up was the ability to not actually mean what they say or to say it and not act upon it. That makes perfect sense to me, but I know that in a romantic relationship or a close friendship, they mean what they say and they follow through. I’m very grateful I got to attend this event/activity because it helped me understand myself better and allowed me to understand others. I think it really makes a difference when you know exactly how to make someone feel loved and I think it can really change the whole dynamic of a relationship. I loved learning about the diverse perspectives in how we view and receive love and I will take this information with me into my life and into the future.
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